I paid for Burger Me Up. Twenty-three English pounds for two burgers, some potato smiley faces, and a can of full fat Coca Cola. It’s important you know that money changed hands, mostly because I want that in your head when I say it is good, but also because a teeny, largely irrelevant, cackling, grotesque, proportion of the internet appear to be suggesting that I never. I happened to go shortly after one free-loader went, then immediately afterward I went, more – many more – ate for nothing. And that’s fine, honestly, I’m past caring by now about the collabs, but had I known that Burger Me Up was about to start throwing free meals about I never would have gone. As this blog grows way past the boundaries of Birmingham, I’m now trying to distance myself from a certain set. I’ll ignore the fuckers until they dare suggest that I’m not only crawling through the same mud pit as them, but also not declaring it.
So, Burger Me Up. All twenty three pounds of it. A small, hastily put together space in Selly Oak, painted baby blue and Barbie pink. I counted twenty potential seats and almost as many deliveroo drivers waiting outside. Even on a blazing hot day they were doing a roaring trade. I’m not sure they needed to give away all that food; they appear to be doing very well as it was.
The burgers are good. Arguably the third best in the city and well worth paying not much for. The standard offering is Big Mac in style, beefy and balanced; good quality meat with a proper crust. The burger sauce, higher in mustard than McDonalds, cuts through it. The other has peanut butter and raspberry jam and is what I’m given when I ask what is their best. It’s sweet and savoury and umami. On paper I’m going to hate it, but I actually love it. Like really love it. The smiley faces are a bit meh, but it’s just twenty-three quid and that includes a can of diabetes.
The couple who run it seems lovely and I really hope it’s a success. That said, I wish they’d understand how social media works. Giving free food to wannabe influencers simply isn’t a business model. Look at who interacts with their posts; if it’s just other bloggers understand that the figures are from follow trains and the like, meaning that you won’t get more custom, you’ll just get more DM’s asking for collabs. The best form of growth is organic; by simply having a great product, and it’s for this reason Burger Me Up will prosper, not by handing out food to people with no taste and no clue. You are right girls, it’s not very hard to make it clear when you’ve been given something for free, and it does matter. Twenty-three pounds at Burger Me Up on August 13th, then, in the following week, £41 at Poli, £340 at Tropea (mostly wine), £220 in Adam’s, and £84 in A La Mexicana. I look forward to writing them all up shortly.
8/10
