How quickly can one rattle through a review of a very average desi pub? Let’s try. First the set-up; man (that’s me) finds himself in the Jewellery Quarter with intended destination closed. Wishing to escape the rain he (still me) finds sanctuary in the JQ Bar and Grill, a brightly lit hotch-pot of circa twelve big screens set in a room of varying white furniture of different heights and levels of stability. The bloke behind the bar (not me) is the kind of blokey bloke that reminds me of growing up in Acocks Green with the blokey blokes in Dads blokey bloke local pub and I instantly fall for his suggestion of what to order. He is amazing. The food is okay.

We try a custom mixed grill with some taken from the meat and others from the veg menu. Chicken tikka are burgundy dyed curls of thigh meat, decent flavour, if a little dry. The sheek kebabs are coarsely ground and full of mutton flavour, though massively overcooked to a sandy texture. From the meat, it is the lamb chops that stand out; big on spice and kissed with smoke from the tandoor, the fat beautifully jellied. The paneer tikka is large generous rubix cubes of bland cheese offset by hits of chilli and cumin, whilst the veg pakora are chock-a-block with flavour and contain plenty of fresh green chilli. There are poppadom’s and chilli chips, the latter a gloop of red and soggy spud.

The meat one is £16, the veg a quid cheaper, meaning that the suggested serve is around a fiver-a-head plus the drinks for which it is a very standard choice of lager and ciders. And for all my whinging, there is a reason for me knocking this up in about three hundred words. The World Cup is amongst us, set in the depth of winter to allow footballers to operate in much better conditions than Qatari workers. The JQ Bar and Grill has screens set to every bit of the wall, meaning that is maybe the best place to watch the games in the city. A platter of food, a few pints of lager and a clear view of the game. Sure, this post isn’t for everyone, but it might help out a few of you.