Michael Roux Jnr has a pub of sorts. It’s very much ‘of sorts’ given that it is pinned to the side of the five-star Langham Hotel, washed entirely in an expensive shade of Farrow and Ball green and features staff in waistcoats, jeans, and lustrous brogues. I doubt quiz nights will be fun here, though you can get a pint at the bar, which is more can be said for a lot of the Top 50 Gastropubs list. The menu is a list of pub classics, spun and reweaved into modern versions. Everything we want is from the snack menu, and we receive almost all of what we order. Prices are fair with nothing over £19, and portions are huge. It’s actually cheaper than my local, which, given we are 200m from Regent Street, is something of a miracle.

Our choices fill the table. Well, one does. The rest just plug the gaps like a team sheet in the Le Tissier era Southampton. It’s a toastie, one foot of toastie, arriving at the table under the weight of a cast iron bacon press with either side poking out like the bad witches’ feet when the house dropped on her. Buttered bread, three types of cheese – Oogleshield, cheddar, and raclette, if you’re wondering – chopped red onion and cornichons, and mustard. Job done. It is magnificent, a dribbling, oozy, foot of comfort, every bit worth the cheese-induced nightmares, or potential might-just-shit-yourself levels of dairy. It is £12.50 which is a lot for a toastie, but it’s not really a toastie, is it? Plus, you can easily share this between two or three.

The rest of it is equally as impressive. A scotch egg, with quail’s egg and garam spiced mince, comes looking like a sea urchin with spikes of vermicelli pasta standing in for breadcrumbs. I like it, but I like the dhal it sits on more. Skewers of chicken glazed with soy and topped with a clunky XO sauce are great and good value at £6 for two, whilst thrice-fried chips come with Bloody Marysalt that tastes of tomato powder, Szechuan pepper and fennel. I can’t decide how much I like them which is never a good thing. Don’t ask me about the samosa because it never turned up.
Service isn’t perhaps up to the level of the food. A little laxadaisical they take order from memory which results in not just the dish missing but also an incorrect drink. It matters little. The Wigmore is instantly likely, surprisingly affordable, and put together with an expert hand. Go for the toastie, stay for the rest.